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Until
a few months ago, life had seemed very good to Bob.
He liked his work. He was happy in his marriage.
Sure he had ups and downs, but doesn't everybody.
He did not think that his downs were that often or
that extreme. Then the news came of his mother's
death. She lived in the little northeastern town
where Bob grew up. Bob lived on the West Coast
where it was warm and far away from his growing up
years.
As
Bob traveled back to his hometown, his mind flooded
with thoughts he had suppressed for years. He
went through the motions of the funeral and visiting
with old friends and relatives. After a week, he
returned home. Shortly thereafter the old
nightmares returned and he did not sleep too well.
Over the next weeks he began to withdraw from friends,
work and finally his wife. Now six months had
passed and he did not know if he could take it any
longer. He needed help. He needed someone to
talk to. Bob was depressed. Also, Bob was a pastor.
Depression
is not a respecter of persons. It can affect any
of us, and over the course of a lifetime usually does.
Depression comes with stress, life circumstances,
unresolved past issues, and chemical imbalance.
The chemical imbalance can be a by-product of any of
the other three or it may exist without the others,
but clinical depression always involves a chemical
imbalance. It is an illness that affects the entire
mind and body.
Bob
was a pastor of a large growing church. The
stress on him was great. Then when Bob
experienced the loss of this mother, the life
circumstances got him down and seemed to be more
extreme than normal for a situation such as the death
of a close family member. Bob also had issues from his
past that had never been resolved and that he now
found he could no longer suppress. Finally Bob went to
a Christian counselor who helped him evaluate his
situation. The counselor also referred Bob to his
medical doctor. The doctor evaluated Bob and
ruled out non-psychiatric causes of depression, then
placed Bob on antidepressant medication to address the
chemical imbalance.
Over
the next few weeks things began to improve for Bob.
The antidepressant felt like a safety net under him.
He still got down and he still felt his emotions, but
he never sank to the bottom. His weekly sessions
with his counselor allowed him to share his feelings
and emotions, to deal with his past, and to set goals
for working through his depression.
Christians
get depressed. It is not a punishment from God
or a sign of a lack of faith. Taking antidepressant
medication prescribed by a doctor is not an
unchristian step to take. Often people have
distortions about antidepressants. If a doctor
recommends medication to treat a heart condition or to
regulate a diabetes or thyroid problem, we would not
have a problem with the use of medication. The same
needs to be true in treating a chemical imbalance with
antidepressant medication.
As
part of Bob's counseling process, his counselor used a
counseling model developed by Dr. Frank Minirth.
The process involves the four areas of behavior,
thinking, feelings and insight.
Bob
began to focus on specific daily behavior changes. Our
feelings to a degree follow our behaviors. Bob listed
ten new behaviors that he committed to try for a
beginning period of two weeks. At the end of the two
weeks, he would evaluate these with his counselor and
make any necessary changes. Among Bob's specific
changes were the following:
1.
Do a minimum of ten push-ups a day. He could do more,
but committed to at least ten.
2.
Spend six minutes of quiet time with God a day. He
spent three minutes in prayer and three minutes
memorizing a Scripture verse that offered help and
hope.
3.
Make one phone call a day to someone that offered him
support.
4.
Read one chapter a day from a book that was
behaviorally oriented.
5.
From a list of ten options for dealing with a current
conflict, he chose two per day to actually implement.
This might be a gentle confrontation, a specific
request for change from someone, or an apology.
Bob's
behavioral plan was simple, concrete and comprehensive
as it covered the areas of physical, psychological and
spiritual. Genesis 4:6-7 says, "Then the
Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? And why
has your countenance fallen? If you do well,
will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do
not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its
desire is for you, but you must master it.'"
We
know that we think 400 to 1200 words a minute.
We often think incorrectly and this inaccurate
thinking causes more pain than actual life events.
Bob's mind would fill with negative thinking. He
would magnify his thoughts and the fears that were
associated with those thoughts. He was taught to
replace his negative thoughts with new, more accurate
beliefs. He found that many of the things that
he based his thoughts and feelings on were untrue.
He also limited the time that he would spend in
intense thought. This helped Bob bring balance to his
thinking process. He learned that his thinking needed
to be accurate and focused on Christ. Romans 12:2a
says, "And do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
The
sessions that Bob spent with his counselor allowed him
to share his feelings. When we are depressed, we
need to talk and talk and talk. Talking gets our
emotions out and without talking those built up
emotions will virtually explode. Anger turned
inward is certainly one of the causes of depression.
Bob also learned that it was okay for him to express
his feelings to God. With all that he had
learned to become a pastor, he had never learned that.
Jeremiah 2:2 says, "Go and proclaim in the
ears of Jerusalem, saying, 'Thus says the Lord, I
remember concerning you the devotion of your youth,
the love of your betrothals, your following after me
in the wilderness. Through a land not
sown.'"
Bob
also gained insight into himself from his sessions
with his counselor. He learned about his strengths,
his weaknesses, and his defenses. Through this
insight, he made decisions about changes that with
God's help he would make. He learned how his past had
affected him and how to change that. Psalm
139:23-24 says, "Search me O God, and know my
heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if
there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the
everlasting way."
Depression
hit Bob. In the Bible, it hit David, Jonah,
Elijah, Job and many others. The good news is that God
has answers for depression. The best approach
seems to be a combination of Christian counseling, the
proper antidepressant medication, and a strengthened
relationship with Jesus Christ. This approach over
time will see the dark cloud of depression lifted.
C.F.
"Kim" Kimberling, Jr., D.Min.
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