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As
parents we face a number of dilemmas over the years
with our children. One of the most difficult seems to
be talking to them about sex. Most parents are scared
to death at the thought. They ask where to begin? What
is the right age? What do I say? What do I address and
what do I leave alone? In other words the basic who,
what, where, when, and why questions.
The
bottom line is that our kids are learning about sex
every day whether we are talking to them about it or
not. We live in a sex charged world from TV, to
movies, to billboards, to magazines, the Internet and
more. The messages that they get are mixed and most of
them are lies, but if they do not hear the truth they
will believe the mixed messages and the lies.
As
Christian parents we have a responsibility to tell
them God's truth about sex and sexuality. It is not
something that we can pass on to someone else. The
schools may teach, "sex education" but do they tell
the story you want your kids to hear? Our churches
have a responsibility also, but our kids need to hear
the same message at home.
It was
not that many years ago that our kids heard consistent
messages about sex from parents, teachers, political
leaders, and role models. Now they hear a different
message everywhere they turn. Research tells us that
more teens are sexually active today than ever before.
That statistic alone tells us that we have to do
something. So how do we go about that sex talk? Let me
give you some ideas.
Sex talks
with our kids need to start early, around three or
four years of age, and continue through high school.
There are many Christian books that can be helpful.
Reading a book with your child seems to be a
comfortable way for many parents to begin broaching
the subject of sex. There is an age appropriate book
series called, "Learning About Sex." The series is
broken down into age groups: 3-5, 6-8, 8-11, and
11-14. The series is illustrated and for the Christian
family. It covers the topics of sex openly and
honestly for each age group.
Now that
you have your book find a time when you and your child
will not be interrupted or distracted. Read the book
together. Have time for discussion. Set follow-up
times. With the younger children this follow-up time
can be a repeat of reading the book. With older
children the time may be further discussions on the
information covered. The important thing is to open
that door and keep it open. They will have questions
and they need to know that they can come to you for
answers.
Just
because you are an adult does not mean that you
automatically know everything about sex and how to
communicate it to your child. Pickup a parents book on
sex and spend some time reading through it. This will
give you more confidence.
A mother
writes, "I think I may have blown it. Have I waited
too late to talk to my son? Can I start now? My son is
thirty-two." In this instance it truly may be too
late. But as long as your children are still at home
in school, it is never too late. It is just easier if
we have begun these talks at a younger age.
So pickup a book or two and read through them. Settle
on a time to talk to your child and PRAY. God will
guide you. I promise.
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